The antiguy post

How many guys actually think and act using the head on their shoulders?

Unfortunately, in my years of befriending, dating and having sexual relations with the opposite sex, I have found that most of the guys out there only think using the head in their trousers. And the guys that are not called to action by their penises are few and far between. This is especially the case in SoCal, where I’ve been for the past year and a half. I’ve had a hard enough time meeting any guy out here, let alone a genuine guy who likes me for me. Why do I attract the sexual douche bags? Is there something about me that says “She’s easy” or “I wanna tap that” instead of the preferred “I’d like to get to know her” or “I’d like to take her out.” Even then, I’d question the motive. More than likely he means: “I want to get to know her in bed” or “I’d like to take her out so she’ll sleep with me after.

Guys, I honestly don’t like declaring this truth. I wish I could give you the benefit of the doubt, and I wish I didn’t have to lump you all in this category of horny bastards with a one-track mind. I know there are a few of you out there with pure intentions and good hearts that are looking for a girl to sweep off her feet. But I’m sad to say, those like you are a rare find. And any girl who’s found one of those should hold on with all her might.

I’ll admit that I can be naïve and I love attention from males, so those factors don’t help when a guy comes sauntering my way. We chat, we flirt (one of my favorite things to do), maybe kiss (another of my favs) and then exchange numbers with intentions of going out—if he hasn’t tried to move me to a bedroom or dark corner already. Like any girl, I get excited for his call and our potential date. But for some reason, that “date” always turns into him coming over to “hang out” or “kick it.” Sure, I’m partially at fault for letting that happen, but why does it even have to start like that? I’m not old fashioned or traditional by any means, but what happened to courting a girl for Pete’s sake? Have we ditched all the bases and gone home without even swinging? The guy that just wants to hang out has one thing in mind. And if the girl doesn’t stop him in his tracks from the get-go, he will get comfortable and take advantage of never having to spend an ounce of effort, a second of time or a penny out of his pocket to win that girl over.

What pisses me off most is having the tables turned on me when I try to stand my ground and express how I feel. I say I want to go slow or that I don’t want to have a relationship based on sex, and the guy freaks out. Suddenly it’s my fault for making him think I “wanted it” or that I was “into him.” Suddenly I’m the rude one, when it’s really the guy’s enormous ego that’s been shattered. Yeah, I guess no guy wants to hear that you weren’t turned on or the romping sesh the night before was only you caving in. But how many times do you have to tell a guy to back off before he actually does? I hate to say it, but sometimes I’d rather just get the deed over with so he’ll stop groping me. I shouldn’t have to think that way. That’s horrible! And even if a girl is too shy or nervous or scared to speak up, why can’t a guy be respectful and move slow? Why does it always have to be about sex?!

I’m guessing any guy who’s read this far probably thinks I’m a prude bitch by now. That’s actually far from true. I’m a very sexual person (a couple margaritas help, too). And I actually think having a regular booty call is great. Keeps me satisfied and STD-free while keeping the notches on my bedpost down. But I can’t do that for the rest of my life. Just like most single straight girls out there, I want to find my Mr. Right. But it seems that all I’ve found is Mr. I Want to Sleep with You Tonight. I’m tired of having guys try to seduce me with no intentions of making a relationship out of it. No, I do NOT like being with you. No, I don’t want to connect. I don’t want to have an encounter. No I will not make out with my friend because it’s your birthday. And no I will not help you with that growing problem in your pants. I’m sick of playing this game. It really makes me want to give up hope on mankind and start batting for the other team—but then again, I’ve never been a very good switch-hitter.

Published by lindsayeholloway

Writer... editor... environmentalist... athlete...

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