Attempting the Master Cleanse

The idea behind keeping a diary during my 10 days of the infamous Master Cleanse was more for me to track my progress than anything. But even before typing Day One for my first entry, I’d decided I’d make it a journal not only for myself but also for others, my readers and anyone else who might be curious what it’s like to complete the Master Cleanse.

For a few years I’ve wanted to try it. I even went as far as to buy all the ingredients, but then I succumbed to the latest happy hour or dinner outing or BBQ and quit before I even started. So the expensive cayenne pepper sat unopened in my cupboard and the lemons went bad. I’ll be honest and say that back then my sole reason for wanting to try it was for the weight-loss benefits. But after putting more thought into it, seeing the success of a friend and doing more research, my reasons are now numbered.

Ever since I started my new job more than a month ago, I’ve had a cold that I just can’t kick. I have lung and sinus congestion that just won’t go away that keeps me hacking and blowing my nose all day long. I feel like my new coworkers only know the raspy, nasally, coughing version of me. It turns out, the Master Cleanse is a proven remedy for symptoms like this. The lengthy PDF mentions that if you’re feeling sick, the cleanse will help get rid of the toxins ailing you, especially allergies, congestion and mucus buildup (gross, I know).

The other reason I want to complete the cleanse – and at this specific point in time – is because I’ve been eating fairly unhealthy since lent ended. You can correctly assume that my vice to give up had to do with food. My vice is sweets, so for 40 days, I abstained from ALL desserts and candy. It’s actually something I’ve done successfully several times. The problem every time is that once my no-sweets period is up, I go crazy, indulging in all my favorites (including but not limited to M&Ms, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, Cadburry Mini Eggs, Dairy Queen Blizzards, Pizzookies, yogurt pretzels and more) that I was forced to hold back from for anywhere from 30 to 60 days. So, needless to say, since Easter I’ve been a sugaraholic. The cleanse will not only force me to cut out the sweets but it will also give me a clean slate to start from and take control of my cravings.

And of course, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t doing this in part for the potential weight loss. I thought about posting my daily weight with each diary entry (talk about bearing it all), but I decided that would put too much emphasis on the weight-loss aspect. It is one of my goals, but not the sole nor the primary.

Anyway, I started the Master Cleanse today, but because I don’t anticipate much excitement on a daily basis, I’ll wait to share my diary until the end of my 10 days (that’s the minimum, 40 days is the max!). Wish me luck! And take this as your warning and my advanced apology for any unintentional bitchiness the lack of food my cause.

Published by lindsayeholloway

Writer... editor... environmentalist... athlete...

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